Genesis 17:1 When Abram was ninety-nine years old the Lord appeared to Abram…. 17 Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
Have you ever experienced awe and doubt at the same moment? Good news…
God is big enough to take our awe-filled worship and doubt simultaneously.
Abram fell before the awesomeness of God, yet in the midst of this experience his full humanity is seen. He didn’t fall down laughing. He fell on his face in worhips, yet laughs in doubt at God’s plan. He actually chuckles when God says to him. “You will have a son.”“No, God, you see Sara and I are too old.”
In fact, Abram goes on to present a Plan B to God. “Well, God you know Sara and I thought we’d speed up your plan by me having relations with Sara’s much younger handmaiden Hagar. And that produced us a son. Let’s use him, God”
God doesn’t blast him for this doubt, but merely restates clearly His divine plan. “You’ll have a son from Sara.” This exchange gives you and me incredible hope. God can handle me simultaneously loving, trusting, and worshiping Him EVEN WHILE I have remaining doubts about Him, His nearness to me, and His plan for me. He is growing us. Even as we say, “No, God, I am (that is) too _________________.”
We don’t have to have it all figured out or fake it. Be transparent and honest before God about both your awe and your doubt. We see this again and again. Even in a man’s encounter with Jesus who was asking Jesus to heal his son:
“And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”