How Preparation H can be Your Friend. What?

So you were up super late last night. Let’s say it was for a red eye flight and not that MMA fight at the local sports bar. Now you find yourself slapping for the snooze button in a less than familiar hotel room. What? Oh yes, that huge pitch meeting to the multimillion dollar client. You head over to the sink, splash water on your face in a futile attempt to snap to it, and look up in the mirror only to notice, you have bag eyes. Not the normal, I’m getting older bags, but I’m so tired these are the size of cow udder bags. (Yeah, gross). So what do you do?

If you are a smart business person, you realized the potential for this and threw a small tube of Preparation H into your toiletries. You see, no pun intended, Preparation H isn’t merely for the lower regions. This lovely shark oil substance is an inflammation shrinking cream that works wherever you apply it. So a small dab on your finger spread under those tired eye will begin shrinking the bags. I suggest applying it 30 minutes before you shower and letting it sit. Be diligent not to get it in your eye ball or tear duct, as that will create red eyes, which will lead your client to other conclusions. Make sure you wash it off before you leave the hotel room or you risk looking like a prize heavyweight fighter at your meeting. (I also suggest using a separate tube for your eyes if you are also a hemorrhoid sufferer, as it just seems a little risky to use the same tube for both.)

Where did I get this tip? Early morning news anchors often use this little under eye perk up trick to look their best.

Finally, a little relational advice. I wouldn’t mention this practice. Once I was at a church giving a message, afterwards someone saw me in the hall and said, “You look a little tired today.” To which I responded, “Yeah, I forgot the Preparation H.” Her mouth hit the floor and I was in a hurry for the next message and had to head back towards the platform. I tried to find her after the second service but couldn’t. To this day she probably thinks, “TMI, that guy is weird and we are looking for a new church.” Still, it works.

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Jordan Fowler

Jordan helps small businesses grow as the owner of Moon & Owl Marketing, a marketing and advertising agency in Fort Worth, TX. Lover of cycling, track and field, and borderline Liverpool FC fanatic.

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